6/22/13
" Eradicating Domestic Violence " : " Safe Coping Skills (Part 1) Seeking Safety, Cogn...
" Eradicating Domestic Violence " : " Safe Coping Skills (Part 1) Seeking Safety, Cogn...: Safe Coping Skills (Part 1) 1. Always ask for Help ( reach out to someone safe). 2. Encourage yourself on a daily basis. (Read po...
6/21/13
" Exposing The Darkness in Christian Homes and Families " Bridgette Jones-Whitby MS, BS,ABM, AA CMAA, MS BCL
Domestic violence impacts Christian homes. Christian women are being abused by their Husband, who stands in a place of authority in the Local Church.
We are about to walk on a Journey !! You are in a Safe place and I will never Judge you or hurt you. Just Walk with me and watch the Burdens be lifted off of you. I am about to put my Finger on a very sensitive Issue. But these issues needs to be addressed in this current Hour. I have personally met so many Christian women, that have left the Church of the Lord Jesus Christ, because the Church has turned their backs on the women that have experienced domestic violence and emotional abuse at the hands of their husbands.
What happens when your marriage turns abusive and violent ? What happens when your Pastor fails to protect you from the violent man ? These are real issues that Christian women all over the world is facing in this current hour. We can no longer ignore real life issues in the Body of Christ. We must address them and provide real life solutions to real life problems. Being a Christian doesn't exempt us from real life issues.
My heart bleeds badly as I am assigned to deal with some issues that has not been dealt with properly according to the word of God. The Church has failed to deal wisely, in situations concerning the rights of women and children. I am assigned to expose the darkness that is going on in the church in this hour. I am standing as a Minister of the Gospel repenting for the wrongs on the behalf of spiritual leaders that has failed to protect the people of God by providing them with truth.
My Prayer is that your heart maybe revived back to him. Man failed you, but God has never and will never fail us. The Church lacks the Wisdom, and Skills in order to deal with Real-Life issues. I am assigned by God to be a Kingdom Builder in this Hour. Please take the time and hear my heart. The heart of God is sadden by the pain that you have had to experience at the hands of unwise Spiritual Leadership. You have had to carry such pain and devastation because of the spiritual violation.
I am sending a word of Encouragement to Millions of Christian women that has left the faith because of the failure of Spiritual leadership. For every women that has left her marriage because of domestic violence and emotional abuse God is not holding anything against you. God never ask the woman to follow her husband when he is wrong.
Please give me a moment of your time and read this valuable information. I believe that you will receive the healing that you need in order to move forward in this hour. Many of my readers are holding anger and hate towards Spiritual leadership in this hour. I will address these issues in parts. This is a very heavy topic, and it requires you to open your heart to God.
Please let me lay a strategic foundation. I will discuss the word forgiveness. The word forgiveness is for the person that has been violated by another person. Forgiving people doesn't mean that you have to have a relationship with the person that has violated you in any manner. I am in no way telling anyone to go and develop a relationship with someone that has violated you or your children. I am saying that forgiveness is needed for you to truly be healed and set free from that negative situation.
I am asking you to search your heart and remove any unforgiveness that you have towards someone that has violated you in the area of sexual abuse, rape, domestic violence, molestation or any other violation. I am just asking you to forgive yourself first and then release the hurt that you received from the violation. This is a very hard process and I totally understand the magnitude and the hurt that you may be feeling inside.
Forgiving someone doesn't mean that he/she is not responsible for the wrong that they have committed. If he or she has violated a Natural law then he or she is responsible for breaking the law. The message of Grace through Jesus Christ never exempts people for being accountable for their … actions. When breaking the Law in the Natural you are responsible. God has allowed me to hear such horror stories from Christian women. I could not believe that Christian women would have endure such pain and humiliation in their families and churches. Here is a very short story. To protect the identity of the real persons I have used false names.
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN THE CHRISTIAN HOME
James and Mary had a great marriage in the beginning of the marriage. James constantly emotionally abused his wife and he would occasionally slap her and knock her down. James and Mary was married in the church and they both grew up in Christians homes. The family attended the Local church for 10 years together. James was ordained as a Elder in the Local Church. He served faithfully and paid his tithes in a timely fashion. Over the course of the marriage the couple had three children together.
Mary wanted her marriage so bad that she endured much pain and hurt in order to keep her marriage together. The church told Mary to stay with her abusive husband just keep praying and God will work it out. Years passed and Mary became very hopeless and depressed. Mary went to the Pastor almost weekly about the domestic violence and emotional abuse that she was experiencing in the marriage.
Secondly the abuse, escalated towards the children. James was literally a monster at home. Mary was Saved and filled with the Holy Spirit and she often fought with Killing herself or Killing her husband. She became so weak in her faith. Mary didn't understand why God would ask her to be treated so badly by her husband.
James and Mary attended counseling with Pastor Green. Every-time Mary exposed the abuse the abuse at home got worse and worse. The Pastor encouraged Mary to pray harder and fast because God was going to work it out. Seven years passed and James got worse. James would go to church and be nice in front of the Saints of God, but when James got home he belittled his wife and children.
Mary left the home with the children because the abuse became almost deadly. Having sex with her husband was like having sex with a stranger. O My God. I am overwhelmed right now.
The Pastor would call Mary into his office Mary and use the scriptures to say that you should go back home to your husband. This Pastor twisted the word of God. Mary was so concerned about what the people at the church would think about her, if she left this monster. The women in the Church often confronted Mary and told her to stand by her man no matter what.
God began to nudge Mary and tell her to leave out of this situation of Oppression and Depression. One week before leaving Mary decided to just Kill herself. She was hopeless sitting right in church with her husband. How could God ask me to endure this pain, torment, and humiliation just to be saved ? Mary finally got the courage to leave her husband and to leave the church.
She walked away from everything and everyone that she knew. Mary went to a domestic violence shelter with her children and attended counseling and support groups to regain her life again. In the meantime Mary lost her faith in God and she never returned to church. Mary got stronger and stronger over time and she set boundaries against her violent husband. In the course of one year Mary turned her life around. Mary divorced the Elder of the Church James her ex-husband.
Mary finally found freedom from domestic violence. She understood that the covenant of Marriage was destroyed by the Chains of violence in her marriage. This subject is very heavy. This is truth !!
Stay Tuned for Part 2. I have listed some Safe Coping Skills. Please use these to build and inspire yourself.
Safe Coping Skills
1. Life is always filled with opportunities.
2. Always believe in yourself and develop relationships with people that believe in you as well.
3. Set Strategic Boundaries protect yourself from negative energy.
4. Always follow your gut or intuition. ( the still small voice that brings warning to you)
5. Learn to trust your Gut feeling.
6. Self- care brings healing and restoration.
7. Learn positive self-talk.
8. Your imagination is a very powerful instrument that can be used to the healing of the Spirit, Soul, and Body.
9. Plan for success set up as many different options.
10. Always see the bigger picture enlarge your vision.
11. Realize that you are never alone God is always with you.
12. Learn to love yourself unconditionally through building healthy self-esteem.
13. Create a safe support system where you can become accountable for your actions.
14. Be wise when starting relationships with people. Learn to recognize Red Flags and always be honest with yourself.
By: Bridgette Jones's Whitby
We are about to walk on a Journey !! You are in a Safe place and I will never Judge you or hurt you. Just Walk with me and watch the Burdens be lifted off of you. I am about to put my Finger on a very sensitive Issue. But these issues needs to be addressed in this current Hour. I have personally met so many Christian women, that have left the Church of the Lord Jesus Christ, because the Church has turned their backs on the women that have experienced domestic violence and emotional abuse at the hands of their husbands.
What happens when your marriage turns abusive and violent ? What happens when your Pastor fails to protect you from the violent man ? These are real issues that Christian women all over the world is facing in this current hour. We can no longer ignore real life issues in the Body of Christ. We must address them and provide real life solutions to real life problems. Being a Christian doesn't exempt us from real life issues.
My heart bleeds badly as I am assigned to deal with some issues that has not been dealt with properly according to the word of God. The Church has failed to deal wisely, in situations concerning the rights of women and children. I am assigned to expose the darkness that is going on in the church in this hour. I am standing as a Minister of the Gospel repenting for the wrongs on the behalf of spiritual leaders that has failed to protect the people of God by providing them with truth.
My Prayer is that your heart maybe revived back to him. Man failed you, but God has never and will never fail us. The Church lacks the Wisdom, and Skills in order to deal with Real-Life issues. I am assigned by God to be a Kingdom Builder in this Hour. Please take the time and hear my heart. The heart of God is sadden by the pain that you have had to experience at the hands of unwise Spiritual Leadership. You have had to carry such pain and devastation because of the spiritual violation.
I am sending a word of Encouragement to Millions of Christian women that has left the faith because of the failure of Spiritual leadership. For every women that has left her marriage because of domestic violence and emotional abuse God is not holding anything against you. God never ask the woman to follow her husband when he is wrong.
Please give me a moment of your time and read this valuable information. I believe that you will receive the healing that you need in order to move forward in this hour. Many of my readers are holding anger and hate towards Spiritual leadership in this hour. I will address these issues in parts. This is a very heavy topic, and it requires you to open your heart to God.
Please let me lay a strategic foundation. I will discuss the word forgiveness. The word forgiveness is for the person that has been violated by another person. Forgiving people doesn't mean that you have to have a relationship with the person that has violated you in any manner. I am in no way telling anyone to go and develop a relationship with someone that has violated you or your children. I am saying that forgiveness is needed for you to truly be healed and set free from that negative situation.
I am asking you to search your heart and remove any unforgiveness that you have towards someone that has violated you in the area of sexual abuse, rape, domestic violence, molestation or any other violation. I am just asking you to forgive yourself first and then release the hurt that you received from the violation. This is a very hard process and I totally understand the magnitude and the hurt that you may be feeling inside.
Forgiving someone doesn't mean that he/she is not responsible for the wrong that they have committed. If he or she has violated a Natural law then he or she is responsible for breaking the law. The message of Grace through Jesus Christ never exempts people for being accountable for their … actions. When breaking the Law in the Natural you are responsible. God has allowed me to hear such horror stories from Christian women. I could not believe that Christian women would have endure such pain and humiliation in their families and churches. Here is a very short story. To protect the identity of the real persons I have used false names.
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN THE CHRISTIAN HOME
James and Mary had a great marriage in the beginning of the marriage. James constantly emotionally abused his wife and he would occasionally slap her and knock her down. James and Mary was married in the church and they both grew up in Christians homes. The family attended the Local church for 10 years together. James was ordained as a Elder in the Local Church. He served faithfully and paid his tithes in a timely fashion. Over the course of the marriage the couple had three children together.
Mary wanted her marriage so bad that she endured much pain and hurt in order to keep her marriage together. The church told Mary to stay with her abusive husband just keep praying and God will work it out. Years passed and Mary became very hopeless and depressed. Mary went to the Pastor almost weekly about the domestic violence and emotional abuse that she was experiencing in the marriage.
Secondly the abuse, escalated towards the children. James was literally a monster at home. Mary was Saved and filled with the Holy Spirit and she often fought with Killing herself or Killing her husband. She became so weak in her faith. Mary didn't understand why God would ask her to be treated so badly by her husband.
James and Mary attended counseling with Pastor Green. Every-time Mary exposed the abuse the abuse at home got worse and worse. The Pastor encouraged Mary to pray harder and fast because God was going to work it out. Seven years passed and James got worse. James would go to church and be nice in front of the Saints of God, but when James got home he belittled his wife and children.
Mary left the home with the children because the abuse became almost deadly. Having sex with her husband was like having sex with a stranger. O My God. I am overwhelmed right now.
The Pastor would call Mary into his office Mary and use the scriptures to say that you should go back home to your husband. This Pastor twisted the word of God. Mary was so concerned about what the people at the church would think about her, if she left this monster. The women in the Church often confronted Mary and told her to stand by her man no matter what.
God began to nudge Mary and tell her to leave out of this situation of Oppression and Depression. One week before leaving Mary decided to just Kill herself. She was hopeless sitting right in church with her husband. How could God ask me to endure this pain, torment, and humiliation just to be saved ? Mary finally got the courage to leave her husband and to leave the church.
She walked away from everything and everyone that she knew. Mary went to a domestic violence shelter with her children and attended counseling and support groups to regain her life again. In the meantime Mary lost her faith in God and she never returned to church. Mary got stronger and stronger over time and she set boundaries against her violent husband. In the course of one year Mary turned her life around. Mary divorced the Elder of the Church James her ex-husband.
Mary finally found freedom from domestic violence. She understood that the covenant of Marriage was destroyed by the Chains of violence in her marriage. This subject is very heavy. This is truth !!
Stay Tuned for Part 2. I have listed some Safe Coping Skills. Please use these to build and inspire yourself.
Safe Coping Skills
1. Life is always filled with opportunities.
2. Always believe in yourself and develop relationships with people that believe in you as well.
3. Set Strategic Boundaries protect yourself from negative energy.
4. Always follow your gut or intuition. ( the still small voice that brings warning to you)
5. Learn to trust your Gut feeling.
6. Self- care brings healing and restoration.
7. Learn positive self-talk.
8. Your imagination is a very powerful instrument that can be used to the healing of the Spirit, Soul, and Body.
9. Plan for success set up as many different options.
10. Always see the bigger picture enlarge your vision.
11. Realize that you are never alone God is always with you.
12. Learn to love yourself unconditionally through building healthy self-esteem.
13. Create a safe support system where you can become accountable for your actions.
14. Be wise when starting relationships with people. Learn to recognize Red Flags and always be honest with yourself.
By: Bridgette Jones's Whitby
" Safe Coping Skills (Part 1) Seeking Safety, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for PTSD and Substance Abuse by Bridgette Jones-Whitby MS, BS ABM, AA, CMAA, MS, BCL
Safe Coping Skills (Part 1)
1. Always ask for Help ( reach out to someone safe).
2. Encourage yourself on a daily basis. (Read positive affirmations and poems).
3. Remove yourself immediately from all dangerous places. ( leave bad places quickly).
4. Perseverance-never ever give up on yourself.
5. Integrity brings healing and maintains healthy relationships.
6. Dishonesty, secrets, and hidden things has a negative impact on your spirit, soul, and body.
7. Release the Pain & hurt that you are feeling by crying and open yourself up to someone that creates a positive safe environment.
8. Learn to forgive yourself for making bad choices in your Life.
9. Take a proactive approach in seeking healing and forgiveness for your Spirit, Soul, and Body.
10. Learn to Love yourself in a healthy and positive manner !!!!!!
6/4/13
6/3/13
" Lets Define Domestic Violence " !!!! Eradicating Domestic Violence
Power and Control Wheel
Physical and sexual assaults, or threats to commit them, are the most apparent forms of domestic violence and are usually the actions that allow others to become aware of the problem. However, regular use of other abusive behaviors by the batterer, when reinforced by one or more acts of physical violence, make up a larger system of abuse. Although physical assaults may occur only once or occasionally, they instill threat of future violent attacks and allow the abuser to take control of the woman's life and circumstances.
The Power & Control diagram is a particularly helpful tool in understanding the overall pattern of abusive and violent behaviors, which are used by a batterer to establish and maintain control over his partner. Very often, one or more violent incidents are accompanied by an array of these other types of abuse. They are less easily identified, yet firmly establish a pattern of intimidation and control in the relationship.
physical VIOLENCE sexual
- COERCION AND THREATS:Making and/or carrying out threats to do something to hurt her. Threatening to leave her, commit suicide, or report her to welfare. Making her drop charges. Making her do illegal things.
- INTIMIDATION:Making her afraid by using looks, actions, and gestures. Smashing things. Destroying her property. Abusing pets. Displaying weapons.
- EMOTIONAL ABUSE:Putting her down. Making her feel bad about herself. Calling her names. Making her think she's crazy. Playing mind games. Humiliating her. Making her feel guilty.
- ISOLATION:Controlling what she does, who she sees and talks to, what she reads, and where she goes. Limiting her outside involvement. Using jealousy to justify actions.
- MINIMIZING, DENYING, AND BLAMING:Making light of the abuse and not taking her concerns about it seriously. Saying the abuse didn't happen. Shifting responsibility for abusive behavior. Saying she caused it.
- USING CHILDREN:Making her feel guilty about the children. Using the children to relay messages. Using visitation to harass her. Threatening to take the children away.
- ECONOMIC ABUSE:Preventing her from getting or keeping a job. Making her ask for money. Giving her an allowance. Taking her money. Not letting her know about or have access to family income.
- MALE PRIVILEGE:Treating her like a servant: making all the big decisions, acting like the "master of the castle," being the one to define men's and women's roles.
Power and Control Model for Women
Ladies if you are experiencing any of following things you are in a domestic violence relationship. Please find a safe place to go, by calling The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-safe(7233). You can also email Bridgette at bridgettewhitby@rocketmail for additional help. Rebuilding The Broken Bridges Healing Center Corporation. You are not alone, and do not be embarrassed.........
Ladies if you are experiencing any of following things you are in a domestic violence relationship. Please find a safe place to go, by calling The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-safe(7233). You can also email Bridgette at bridgettewhitby@rocketmail for additional help. Rebuilding The Broken Bridges Healing Center Corporation. You are not alone, and do not be embarrassed.........
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